5.31.2007

drawing #13: bee-yoo-tee-full.

5-31-07

WHEN: This girl Tasha drew a rather unflattering portrait of me and demanded a drawing in exchange. When I asked her what she wanted a picture of she said, and I quote: "A fat, drooling cheerleader. Really, really fat."


WHAT IT MEANS: Tasha either wants this drawing to taunt someone with or she has some heretofore unnoticed weirdness going on. Also: I need to get over my fear of drawing liquids so I can get down with the drool. And, apparently, I need to actually look at some big-boned folks so I can draw them with properly proportioned limbs.

5.30.2007

drawing #12: thumbs-up!

5-30-07

SCHOOL IS OUT! My mornings are now free for things like cleaning my desk and drawing! HUZZAH!

5.29.2007

drawing #11: we will ride this ugly pig to victory.

5-29-07

WHEN: Just now, while attempting to install an internet filter on some new computers. Shortly after discussing what things are appropriate for kids to draw and write about with my boss - a discussion which is always awkward, because I was one of those kids writing about blowing up my school or setting things on fire when I was lil' wee tyke.

WHAT IT MEANS: Maybe - and this is just speculation, mind you - maybe I secretly want my boss to censor the kids' work, because if the kids are thinking about knives, then it's only a matter of time until they actually get knives, and then they will drive all of us into the sea at the head of their pointed hands.

5.25.2007

drawing #9: preaching to the masses.

5-24-07

WHEN: Trying to convert videos between formats to get a DVD ready for my students, who are ending their semester and would like to take their projects with them. This has been a painful process.

WHAT IT MEANS: I am a man small of body yet large of head, bringing my old-timey homespun wisdom to other people large of head. The warthog, though, is beyond my powers of interpretation for the moment.

5.24.2007

drawing #8: the circle of life.

5-23-07

WHEN: Attempting to help a kid think of what to draw. And also attempting to recall if hippos have tails. (Answer: they do, but they're apparently impossible to draw without looking phallic and cracking the kids up)

WHAT IT MEANS: Drawing monkeys really, really small is really hard. The rest is too deep, man: is he a hippo dreaming about a banana dreaming about a sideways hot dog, or is he a sideways hot dog dreaming about a banana dreaming about a hippo? Or did I just blow your mind?

5.23.2007

drawing #7: nails stick up to get beat down.

5-22-07

Damn their little orphan Annie eyes. And their monumental hammers.

5.22.2007

drawing #6: the fickle robotic hand of fate.

5-21-07A

WHEN: Waiting at My Brother's Bar for my friend to show up, on the back of a planning document for a website I'm working on for a nonprofit.

WHAT IT MEANS: In the future, everything - robots, your car, your robot car - will be run through a series of poorly-preserved cassette tapes.

5.21.2007

drawing #5: sports shoes and axes.

5-20-07

WHEN: In the car, on the way to Fort Collins to have lunch with my brother for his birthday. My wife was telling me about competing theories of nursing practice.

WHAT IT MEANS: I need to feather my hair. Rather, I need to grow enough hair to feather, and then feather my hair.

5.18.2007

drawing #3: tommy-gun elephant

5-17-07

WHEN: While listening to the kids at my job play that stupid R. Kelly "I'm a flirt" song over and over again.

WHAT IT MEANS: I may, in fact, be ready to go to jail to keep R. Kelly from ever stepping in a recording booth again. Also, I need to watch the edges of the paper while I'm drawing, because I lost a wonderful chance to finish the loafered toes of a gangster elephant.

5.17.2007

drawing #2: black-eyed party cowboy


WHEN: During work, helping a kid create monsters for his role playing game. We then photoshopped his head onto Mr. T. Really.

WHAT IT MEANS: I have all the external trappings of fun, but at heart, I am a soulless bandito/monster.

Today we're letting the kids play Unreal Tournament for two hours as a reward. I'm looking forward to reams of inspiration.

5.16.2007

drawing #1: training for irrelevance.



WHEN: Drawn yesterday during a workshop on how to raise money for capital improvements for nonprofits. A skill I find interesting, but not really even remotely related to what I do on a daily basis.

WHAT IT MEANS:
I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure I was the dumbest guy in the room. And the only male under 50. Nonprofits are weird that way. Also, it was raining, which makes me think of gourds. Thus the pumpkin. Though I'm unclear what the connection there is.